|
minimalistic |
was reading through my previous post.
minimalism.
kinda ironic, ain't it? i used to be able to carry this off. not anymore.
things are starting to matter more to me than they used to, and i just can't let go. just look at my history. things used to be so simple.
well, we grow. that's a lame excuse. we grow, to explore different faucets, but deep down, we just don't change. we just don't. was i then wrong about my idealogy? sometimes it does bother me. baggage always does. well, live and learn. what would it be like to revert to those days when everything was packed into one box in my mind, "what i can't live without", assured that these things will never disappear. somewhere along the lines, more boxes started taking shape. suddenly, everything became tangible. well, almost everything.
i guess i should give my thanks to p and k. at least mere reading [plus noticing] got to make all that confusing talk, thought, of the past three weeks when i started noticing similarities. they are just NOT the same.
i miss me. i'm not me nowadays. the old me would never have done things i've been doing lately. the old me had at least some semblance of being barely likeable. nowadays, i just irritae myself.
then again, of course i miss hor. i miss that security, that warmth that used to surround me because of hor. talk itself will never be able to take over. i used to feel trepidation when i spoke in public. not anymore. because hor's eyes are never on me anymore. he's not even here. what would i do to freeze 2004 into eternity..
well.. 27 days more. then once and for all, it will be a clean break. then, part of my emotions will die. hopefully, i'll be happier already. and i'll know if i'm staying.. which is currently further complicating my life. valentine's day.. let's not think of it first.. i think it'll be the first valentine's in 4 years i'm gonna feel a little lonely.
ok, maybe not just a little.
i remain attached to minimalism.
try narrowing down all your cds to 1 you can't live without. i have.
i chose wheesung.
or was it seven?
haha.. dramatic irony.
sarang hei, horshi.
posted by sarangaia || 11:21 PM Saturday, January 29, 2005
|
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home