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update |
well, since Wing requested, i shall update. really havent had the heart to blog for quite a while, it just gets so tiring at times.
well, my life is supposed to be in pretty bad shape now, but somehow i'm turning out fine, more so than i expect myself to be. which kind of scares me, because i have no idea, really no idea if i'm just bottling everything up, or that i'm really ok. mom's found a sudden lump in her breast, a big one. the doctors are still doing lab tests to determine if it is beign or maglinant. he says that usually lumps like this that appear suddenly should be... bad news, the c-word which i dont even want to mention. i am worried, but kind of seem to be in denial. life goes on, and its kind of numbing, dulls my senses, and i live in the illusion that everything is ok. i dont want friday to come. its D-DAy, the day when the report comes out.
just dumped all the crap to poor Wing, who has to take over my mess of being an SL. to say the truth, i love xianyue 05,06. without them, i really don't know how i'll remember to smile, crack jokes... i just have to be there for them, which forces me to see things in a happpier mood. and they do put me in a happy mood. xianyue, the 17 of you, thanks for all the wonderful memories that have kept me going when i'm tired. Wei Ling, do a good job, and lead them to their gold next year!
I LOVE JISUNG!!! just watched save the last dance for me (zui hou zhi wu, airing on channel u now), and i completely fell in love with JISUNG (you guys would know him as Chi Chen, i believe). he's just so perfect in the drama. ok, the plot is mediocre, but the point is this drama has more of the leads being happy together than any of the other dramas, something that i really like. i want the feeling of romance to linger... but mom's pissed over my obsession with k-dramas and ordered that no one is to buy anymore k-dramas in this household. which means i have to wait until next year in uni before i dare buy it, without the fear of her throwing it out. sigh. i really like this one. save me.
so its true.. i have no idea.
posted by sarangaia || 8:11 AM Monday, July 17, 2006
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almost love!!!~~~
went to watch that with kah hoe today, since we have a holiday today. actually wanted to watch king and the clown, but it was full. sigh. and he said superman was a stupid show to watch(i agree!) plus we both know that scary movies are NONONO for me. so we went for the romantic comedy. hehe. well, tix was on him and the drinks+popcorn on me. good deal.
boy, it was hilarious in the first half. and sad in the second half. sniffling away, had to dig around for tissues. poor kah hoe was trying desperately to finish up the salty popcorn so that i could have the sweet one (we bought mixed). cuz i said he either bought the mixed or the sweet cuz i don't like the salty one. so he took the mixed as he gets sick of sweet stuff after awhile. guess what? they put the salty one on top. and so he had to clear the path for me to eat the sweet one. hahahaha. hilarious.
the apek beside him ended up snoring and i kept staring at hoe cuz i thought he was asleep. haha. and richie and xiaomei(ruoyi whom i met with A GUY) were messaging me during the sad parts. arh.
in the end, we both thought the movie was quite worth it. popped over to taka where we saw a nice suit for him ($89!!!!~~~) and some other kiyo stuff. heh. then headed off to get him some baked beans and me some chicken for dinner.
ah. the essence of fun is when you are with someone who can spot countless funny stuff on the streets. we spotted quite a lot today.
hehe.
posted by sarangaia || 4:09 AM Monday, July 03, 2006
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cl |
真可笑。
那时的我，即疯狂又可笑。奇怪，为什么最近一直响起一些让人不堪回首的事情呢？明明是读书读得疯狂，正处在水深火热之中，假期，应该是令人松懈的时候。就只是几部剧，为什么会这样缭乱我的思绪，让我就就无法恢复平静呢？
虽然现在还是在修中文，但我已经许久没以中文来写作了。我到底是真么搞的？
非常清楚，对我而言，那三个人已经是过去式。因为喜欢一个人而放弃乘搭舒适的巴士，因为喜欢而从不在没充分的理由下在乐队里缺席。因为喜欢而拼命地练习着那首曲。到现在还是依然记得怎么弹，虽然已经过了很久。而这些，虽然说也是我的真心，但那些日子，值得吗？
现在心里的那个人，已经停留了好久了。算起来，有六年了吧。不曾拥有过的那不叫爱情，那叫痛苦。是加了酒精的巧克力，甜中带有抹不掉的苦涩。
爱他吗？不。恨他吗？不。
如果都不是，对他有的，是思念吗？回忆？难堪？还是已经在忘却？
都有吧。而他，根本不会知道，有这么一个女孩，在放掉那不属于她的风筝时，为他系上了新中满满的祝福。
相信这个女孩有一天也会像三顺那样，苦尽甘来，找到属于自己的幸福。
会吧？
posted by sarangaia || 3:46 AM Sunday, July 02, 2006
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