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treat by oppa |
so i finally have time to sit down and recount saturday night. well, it was quite a night of unexpected revelations, especially since i was so enlightened just a week ago. i suppose coincidences are a way of life that we should come to expect.
the schedule was actually pretty packed considering i had a term essay and the mind boggling blog comments due(which i of course, finished only today morning, being the procrastinator i am) and i was supposed to do some reading. of course there was co practice, which i reluctantly shuffled to, expecting a small turnout and instead, to my utmost horror, EVERYONE turned up, including all the seniors i havent seen for eons. talk about a gathering of sorts. practice was horrendously insane as usual, with mr lum up to his usual torture schemes of making us sight read pieces and then running through them like a speeding express train. and my dear companion kahhoe apparently booked out in the morning just to have to rush to book back in at 10pm for duty. the only logical solution to this was to have me skip half of practice. which i did, absolutely willingly. the only little problem was then the clothes part. i couldnt exactly step into a nice restaurant in my usual practice wear of a casual skirt and tank top, so i had to go to practice alldolledup, makeup, dress and all. which made me stick out like a sore thumb during practice, and people kept coming up to me and asking what the occasion was. DUH, i'm stark raving mad and thought practice was actually a gala dinner in disguise. maybe i'm just oversensitive, but i loathe it when people start the twenty questions thing. its just rather irksome.
so off we went to modesto's for my belated birthday treat, to which a whopping $74.15 was spent on only 5 items - two drinks, two main courses and a tiramisu. with foccacia on the house. talk about money sucking. oh well, the upside was that the food was good, the ambience was excellent, the wait staff was patient, efficient and nice AND i didnt have to pay a single cent for everything. he picked up the hefty tab, which i have yet to express my thanks for. well, i guess i can always use brain waves and hope it gets across. haha. as usual there was a lot of talking going on, which interestingly led to many revelations that i never thought i would get to hear.
at the very core, people are more alike than they think they are. there's always a void deep down, which makes it pretty commonsensical to fill that void up with a relationship. friendship and kinship just dont count in this case, maybe because we are all humans and humans tend to compartmentalise things. we are not much different. i used to think maybe some people were not as affected as some others, but with that confession today, i guess we cant say that can we? even the almightly poser (okok, i know, you are not a poser, but you act like you cant be bothered enough..) wants an exclusive arm other than mom's to cuddle into when he feels down. and who's to laugh at this? its just human, the barest and rawest emotions that anyone would feel. its just that i never thought we would someday broach the entire sensitive topic. its just too personal, too raw, too painful to start talking about with your good friend of the opposite gender.
and that's exactly why sometimes its so easy to misunderstand, especially when emotions are fragile and fluctuate. but things are happy and stable now, and they will, i believe, just maintain this way for a long time to come. now i really do believe in it. five years has taught me a lot about how to handle things, and it should be the same vice versa. there used to be quite a lot of friction, especially since age was a big factor and i just couldn't understand a lot of things. i couldnt get why i wanted to know everything, why i was so insecure, why i just could get over some small things that happened. but as you grow, alot of things become less important. i dont need to know everything because that would just tense things up and create more secrets. nobody can be thinking about his/her friend 24hours a day, so why be insecure? its the small things that really count, so why be insecure? living in the world, who doesnt experience friction, abrasions and little episodes that make people unhappy? live and let live, thats what allows for people to live each day to the fullest. it doesnt mean that things dont make me feel exasperated or rotten sometimes, but at the very least, ican deal with things that come along the way without hurting myself or anyone else.
here's to friendship. platonic relationships. kinship.
oh, and oppa, i was too shocked to react, and even though i think you told a big lie saying it, thanks for the compliment. its nice to know that you think so highly of my intellect.
posted by sarangaia || 3:29 AM Monday, November 05, 2007
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