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of undercurrents |
its about time i spoke of this too, ain't it? seems like every blog i go to, the word UNDERCURRENTS pop up more often than i like. when did it all begin? i can only say i started feeling it after the hols.
but that's the whole point. i feel it, but i don't really think i'm very involved in the whole thing. yup, and i have absoulutely no desire whatsoever to be mixed up in this whole messed up thing, because i am really afraid of that feeling coming back to me all over again. they say once bitten, twice shy. i've been bitten more than thrice. i don't want to venture out there again.
things look very wrong to me. because such things happen on such a regular basis to me, i can't say i feel any different. of course, i'm not indifferent to things. but people must understand that these things happen. i sort of know what is happening, but i don't really know what is hapenning too. maybe i'm really out of this. i feel i should shut my big mouth (in this case stop my typing hands) and pretend this isn't in my life, it isn't affecting me. because it is, small or big the impact may be.
what happened? how did the whole situation become so screwed that people stop talking, people start feeling hurt, people keep talking about it? or was i so dumb that i thought everything was fine and rosy when it was not?
i can't say who's right and who's not, who's the winner and who loses. things simply don't work this way. time has mercilessly told me that in times of such conflict, ALL parties will end up hurt, one way or another, if things don't get resolved soon. then again, time has also comforted me that no matter how bad the situation is, things will pass.
i love everyone in the class. there's huiying and richie of course, but there are also people like quirky namz, intellectual jess, say-what's-on-my-mind honest mabel, responsible k, quiet huiping, cute cheryl, huh? kelsonn, i-puntuate-all-my-sentences-with-a-cheeky-grin arrifin, pretty mel, mr-nice-RICH-guy jz, funny kong, my-good-econs-group-member germs...the list goes on. so many people who are nice and fun.
then why is it that i feel the atmosphere in class is anything but nice, cosy, friendly?
or is it that i'm thinking too much?
posted by sarangaia || 10:41 PM Saturday, July 30, 2005
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