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rhapsodyII |
exhilaration.
wow.. this is great. i wonder how i managed to pull through. was sick the whole day and my nose was a running tap. if anything, the constant sniffling sound throughout the concert was probably mine, but who cares. everyone i know was absorbed in watching huang sheng. hahaha.. probably his hair at work.
okok, lets start form the top. had to pop panadol in the morning and stand in cold water for half an hour to bring my temperature down from 37.0 to 36.6. wasn't that bad. the journey to school was terrible though. felt like throwing up every few second. managed to get to school and set off to esplanade. the food was horrible. thank god for the vermicelli that fukang shared with michelle and me (did i mention we were all sick?) anyway, that's besides the point. the xian yue girls got to share our dressing room with ALL 24 OF THE ALUMINI PLAYERS!!! yes!!! for those who are into my so-called secret... hahaha.. it was life again for me. suddenly the little "present" qianz shoved into my hands while i stood gaping seemed unimportant. for the first time. ohmygosh.. i DID HAVE FUN!!! they laid out chairs for me to sleep...thoughtful people they are. rehearsal was draining for me. used more tissues than my entire 16 years added up.
dinner was, again, terrible. terrible food, especially as i wasn't particularly impressed with their lack of "innovation". ohwell. roll on the concert items.
don't really want to delve into all the songs one by one. generally everything was ok. i mean, after 6 years with the stage, i don't exactly get the shivers anymore. i love the stage. and i loved my seat this year. and *poof*, concert was over.
i think this is one of the defining moments for me... i was disappointed when my parents made the comparison between rv and aj.. i mean, come on. rv has four years of people while we have people with only 1 year of experience technically. i think we were amazing. all things aside, i think i finally felt, from the bottom of my heart, the music. that familiar experience. that joy. that unity. its an indescribable feeling. it was wonderful. i felt i had finally found what i've been searching for all these while.
you know what? it exists without him.
yes, it does. the music wasn't about me or him or the orchestra. the music comes when you play wholeheartedly, with people you know and love. it comes when you put meaning into it. it took me awhile, but i think i've really gotten it this time round. i think i can finally let go. thanks to the timely 'gift' from qianz, which is officially a loan. i know now that i'm coping, and i've found myself. i restrict myself no more. i'm...free.
this is the second home that i know i'd rather have compared to anything else. i don't regret joining aj for the sake of ajco. here i'm slowly finding the old me that existed, the uncomplicated soul there purely for the orchestra and friends.
i'll miss the seniors..i'll miss michelle and her gentle warmth, ruina and her hilarious comments, liangyin's lameness, rongsheng's ability to render me speechless, dawson the nice guy with the nice shirt (men shen!!haha), qiling and his general quirky fun-ness, xia jie and her smile...believe it or not, fukang and his rather entertaining actions. of course, there's really nice shuxuan, mr boing-boing, the scandalous twosome... so many people.
thanks.. for all.
memories are made of these.
posted by sarangaia || 10:16 PM Monday, May 23, 2005
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